Clean your room before you fix the world

If your life feels like it's slipping away from you, and you've got big plans to fix your health, your relationships and your money all at once, I want to suggest something smaller. Much smaller. Start with your room.

That sounds almost too simple, doesn't it? But it's one of the most useful ideas I've ever come across, and it comes from Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life.

One of Peterson's rules is to set your house in perfect order before you criticise the world. In his talks he puts it even more simply: clean your room.

The way I understand it, he isn't really talking about vacuuming. He's saying that before you take on the big problems out there, the job, the relationship, the state of the world, you start with the things right in front of you that you can actually do something about. Your bed. Your desk. Your wardrobe. The promise you made and haven't kept.

And here's why that matters. When the small things around you are in chaos, everything feels heavier. You walk past the pile of clothes every morning and it quietly tells you that you're not on top of things. Then you wonder why you've got no energy for the big changes.

For me, Peterson's idea joined up with Marie Kondo's. Her question is beautifully simple: does this spark joy? Keep what does. Thank the rest and let it go.

When my life felt out of control, I didn't start with my body. I started with my wardrobe. I went through it piece by piece and asked Kondo's question. Then I bagged up everything that didn't make the cut for Savers, and anything Savers didn't want went to the Salvos.

It sounds soft. It isn't. Every bag was a decision I actually finished. Not a plan, not an intention, a finished thing. And a clear space at home made it easier to think clearly about everything else.

This is the thread that runs through my whole rebuild. I've said it before: I didn't lose the weight because I found the right diet. I lost it when my life got steady enough to hold the change.

Peterson's rule is the same idea from a different angle. You don't fix the world first. You don't even fix yourself first, not all at once. You put one small part of your life in order, and then you've got somewhere solid to stand while you take on the next bit.

So when a bloke tells me he's going to overhaul everything on Monday, I get it. I've been that bloke. But I think the better question is: what's one thing in your own space you could put right this week?

Another of Peterson's rules has stuck with me too: compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.

That one is gold if you're over 40 and starting again. It's very easy to look at the fit young bloke at the gym, or the mate who seems to have it all sorted, and feel like there's no point. But that's not the comparison that helps. The useful question is whether you're a little better off than you were last week. One cleared drawer is better than yesterday. That counts.

At the end of the week, ask yourself: what did putting one small thing in order make easier? You might be surprised how far it reaches.

12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan B. Peterson: Amazon

The rules above are Peterson's, and the "spark joy" question is Marie Kondo's. This is just my take on what they did for me. Peterson divides opinion, so read it yourself and keep what's useful for your life.

Next in the series: David Allen's Getting Things Done, The Barefoot Investor and the KonMari method in more detail.

If you want more on the rebuild in one place, Tom and I wrote it down in Balding Overweight Sex Machine. It covers the honesty, dating and Nice Guy work that sat underneath the weight. Have a look if that sounds like where you're at.

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

If this landed for you, subscribe to A Remade Man and you'll get one honest story and one small thing to try every week.

This is my experience, not psychological advice. If you're struggling, please talk to a qualified professional.